Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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