if you like me you must not know who I am
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
