can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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