Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
operation harelip BJ is a go
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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