What did we do last night that was yellow?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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