DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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