ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Randomize
