So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
