you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
