we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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