Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
What a dumb baby whore.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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