i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize