You can't motorboat a personality
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
