Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
