I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Send help, water and tortillas.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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