He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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