I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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