You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Semen is not good for contacts.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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