it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
