The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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