Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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