how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize