I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
