I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My dick has a subreddit
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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