Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
