Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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