Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
