Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
