she was so not down for the gang bang
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
