glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
