you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
