next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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