The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
