butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
