Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
