My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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