How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
