32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
