I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
