she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
