I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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