yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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