Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
