My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
