i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
