in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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