shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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