Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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