i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
