Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
