I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize