I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
