There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
