Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
