wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
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You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
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Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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