No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
