it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
