VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
