i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
