I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
