so that wasnt chicken after all
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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